That Moment When You Realize You Are The Richest Person In The World

I'm sitting here at my desk, listening to Jesus Culture, soaking, breathing, looking around at the things on my roll top desk, my best friend Peg gave me the paintings on my walls, the different colors.

A mermaid made of wire and porcelain, with silver hair and blue beads on her fin.  A simple glass fish bowl Alisha gave me with purple and blue twisted paper in it, with a blue and purple tufted flower, a purple plastic butterfly sitting on the top of it.

A chrome butterfly lantern Sharon gave me, because she likes butterflies too, a purple rose clamped to it.

A purple vase Phil and Johnna sent me flowers in, with the purple and orange butterfly bouquet Rachel made me for my vow renewal.

The paintings the children did that I got at the silent auction, framed and faithful art.

The poem I wrote about my great grandmother, Minnie Whatley, my first published writing, on a plaque to my right.

A smiling lion of Judah I painted with a red background.

A purple daisy bouquet Buffy gave me many years ago for mother's day.

There's a crystal butterfly trinket box Barbara gave me, sitting in front of a rectangular glass bowl filled with black rocks Chris and Sara put roses in for my special day, still holding a silk white rose and a tiny teddy bear that used to sit on the dash of my truck, the one Beaudreaux ripped the arm off. 

Christmas card pictures from Joannie's and Rachel's beautiful families in the corners of my auctions pieces. 

There's a black and red cross I got in the thrift store along with the three flower plackards.

A butterfly frame Caryl gave me for my birthday, that has a picture of a butterfly, a picture she took.

There's a battery operated butterfly in a jar Barbara gave me, a book shelf filled with my most prized books and bibles. 

A book Eve sent me for Christmas.

A peace and believe sign Joannie, gave me and I love the wooden carved snowflakes so much I put them on the butterfly net over my bed when I took the tree down this year.

To the left a butterfly my oldest best friend Stacy sent me underneath the picture of my sister and Caroline.  The inspire Danielle gave me hanging on the office door, a mirror John Burgess gave me, sitting next to an aquarium donated by yet another kind soul.

All of these objects sit in proximity to the desk, along with a picture of my grand daughter Marlee and a picture of my boys at Independence Park when they were 10, 7 and 6 in a fancy flower frame that has pink and blue flower centers.  Overhead the wine bottle wind chime Vanetta made for me, green, of course.

To the right, my city on a hill painting, knowing what God says about cities on hills.

Pink cubes Angela sold me because I love storage space of any kind, lol.

This one corner and section of my house, just this small section.  

In the bedroom there's a placard Alesha gave me, painted purple to match my room, a mermaid water color Caryl did for me,a butterfly painting Robym gave me for a wedding present, butterflies Sharon and Stacy gave me for Christmas, and a mermaid my girl Pam sent me in the mail and cards stuck in every drawer of every piece of furniture.  There's a mirror as well as a mermaid Barbara gave me sitting next to a hummingbird Danielle gave me, pictures of my kids, a heart Melissa and Mitchell gave me, that lights up Remember always I love you.  There's a mermaid cup Johnna brought me back from the beach on the same shelf.

The antique head board John Burgess brought me, the bed a gift, the chair, the table lamp, the tv.

Mon Cheri has sent me stuff, Regina, Connie.

Pictures still to be framed with all my people's fingerprints and all my girl's lipstick marks.

In my office a painting my girl Haley did for me, beautiful and abstract.

Gifts of every kind from people who love me and if I left anyone out I didn't mean to because I see your tokens of love and think of you every single day.

Color and love and precious sentimental things filling my house and heart.  Peace and joy unspeakable, breathing in the magnitude of it.

God fills up the small places with so much.

He gives us overflowing everything.

The world can't contain it.

He walks with me and He talks with me and He tells me I am His own.

I think of these things and gaze upon each of them, thinking of the people I love behind those tokens of love and my heart bursts with joy and love for them.  

Romance my Father whispers in my ear.  Romance.

Love love love, all ya need is love.

And the butterflies, oh the butterflies.

Blessing after blessing after blessing.

I am truly a blessed woman.

The walls of my house are a reflection of my true self, colorful, full of joy and wonder.

Color exploding everywhere, the beauty God has put in the world.

I'm the richest woman in the world without a penny to my name.

Destiny calls to me and I'm walking toward it.

Defining Moments

Life is full of defining moments, like the moment you are born, when you took your first step, your first day of school, your first crush, the list goes on and on.
There are other defining moments that are just as important only on different scales of the spectrum.
Lately I'm growing, outgrowing, changing and stretching and there are going to be big changes in my life.  I'm seeing things I can do and things I can do without.
I'm learning things about myself I never knew before and I'm so excited to be moving into my future.  God's got big plans for me!
I'm making big decisions about my future, about ministry and about others around me.
I'm a doer, I can't stand on the sidelines watching the world crumble.  I can't get up, work, eat, sleep and do it all over again.  I want more from my life than clicks of friends and those who aren't willing to come along.  I want everything God has promised me and then some.
Rather than be upset with others, I just do more, look for more, ask for more and keep trudging on.
People will disappoint you but God is always there, He's willing and able and at the end of the day He's all you've got.
I can run by myself or I can run with my crew.
I'm so thankful for the crew of people God is putting together for the street ministry.  They are souls on fire, catching others on fire.
I'm so thankful for the amazing things I see and can hardly believe I'm doing.
I'm so thankful.
Last Sunday I stood in front of a church full of people and half those people were mine.  They showed up for me.  I was so proud and so humbled in such a way I can't even explain it.  I stood there vibrating, telling my story, sharing a message and looking at all those beautiful faces, thinking to myself, "God you are so good to me."
It's so important to show up, to be there for one another, to ride or die.  There's nothing I wouldn't do for those people who are in my life, the ones who show up, the ones who want to do more, who want everything God has for them.  I'm blinded with love for the ones who are doing things with me, who celebrate me, who could've stayed at the house, or done something else.
Last Sunday was a defining moment for me.
A door swung wide open for me to walk through.
God is revealing to me pictures of the future and I'm dreaming big dreams, dreams that are so big there's no way for them to come true without God doing what He does.
I never would have guessed I would still be in the streets after all these years.  I never dreamed it would be so important to me.
This life!
Writing, painting, evangelizing, just being me with a supernatural Daddy.
I want more.
I want support and encouragement and influence and to fulfill every purpose God has designed for me.
I want to leave a mark on the world for the kingdom, not for Darlene.
I want people to say, "I never met a Jesus Freak like her."
I try not to but I'm only human and I'm looking around.  I'm seeing ridiculousness in the body, disconnection, lack of participation, people who have been wrongly taught, people who only live their little lives, so many disappointing things, but that's okay, that's them and I'm me and they are truly missing out.
The world is hurting while everyone is at the beach.
The world is hurting while everyone is throwing their stupid pot luck dinners.
The world is hurting while everyone is waiting for someone else to do it.
The world is hurting.
Being grace people, we don't have to do anything, there's nothing to earn, nothing to prove, but damn it what a bunch of lazy people that ideology has raised.  We don't have to do anything but there is so much to do. We're supposed to be laying our lives down for others.
We're supposed to be united in one common goal.
We're supposed to be going into the world to preach the gospel to every living creature great and small.
I'm patiently waiting for God to tell me what's wrong with us, knowing He isn't going to.
I'm one of those people who usually walks around blinded by my love and my purpose.  I'm busy, I've got stuff to do, there are hurting hearts everywhere I go.
It's these glimpses into other people's lives I could do without.
These are the things that try to distract me and throw me off course, not some unseen enemy.
I can't do it all, but I can do what I can do, what's right in front of me.
Defining moments.
No more half way friends.  No more support my stuff but screw you.  No more waiting around on anyone else to come along.  No more of life the way it's been.
I meant it when I said I want more.
I'm setting boundaries, I'm changing gears, I'm going to be spreading my wings and going places, talking to people, trying to grow my influence even more and in all of that seeking help from every source, because it doesn't happen by itself or magically.  No more people who tell me they love me when they see me but the rest of the time I don't exist and what I do doesn't matter.
I know who my people are and they've proven themselves time and time again.  I know who I am and God reminds me every day.
My heart is for a hurting world and more.  My time is better spent pursuing those things my Father sets in my heart to do, rather than trying to recruit unwilling souls.
I'm stepping further into my ministry and it's going to take me places, to do things, not because I have to but because I get to.
It's going to take me to other churches to speak, to share, to connect with new people and hopefully those people are as fired up as I am.  It's going to take places I never dreamed, just like my Daddy always does.
I'm not perfect and never claimed, never will be, but at the end of the day when I meet my Father I want Him to say to me, "Girl you've been so busy, you can rest now."
Defining moments.